The Home Stretch of 2020
Tis the season. No, I don’t mean the Halloween season or the start of the holiday season. What I mean is tis the season that everyone starts to realize the year is almost over. With a few short months left in the year people are starting to try and finish out goals set for themselves, trying to reflect on the year so far and start closing out this year. I’m very much included in that “everyone” bracket, so here are a few of my thoughts on this whirlwind of a year so far.
This year has taught me to be less obsessed with goals.
Are they good to have and help to offer direction? For sure, but personally for me they sometimes lead to more stress and anxiety than they should. The fill me up with “I should be doing this or that” or “I’m not going to make this arbitrary deadline or number I set for myself.” This year has helped me really accept that goals are awesome but that it’s okay for them to shift and change along with you or with life.
This year has taught me to finally be present.
Change came at us daily, if not hourly, for much of this year. As someone usually thinking ahead, looking to (and often worrying about) the future, that much change and uncertainty (are we sick of that word yet? I am.) can be hard to manage. I’m not sure how, but when we went into lock down in March something in my mind clicked and I realized the only way to get through what was to come would be to focus on what I already had in front of me, the current day, the current moment. It was the only thing I could predict and control. I honestly accredit getting through the thick of lockdown in a mostly mentally healthy way that small mindset shift.
This year I learned to trust.
Similar to being present, I learned to just trust. I have learned to let go of expectations I had for this year and just trust that so long as I keep taking small steps to move myself forward in some capacity, things will fall into place. The money will come, the creativity will come, the right moments will come. Sometimes it just takes a little bit of blind trust in the Universe. I know it may sound corny or a little bit woo woo but I really believe the Universe is giving us what we need when we need it. It can be hard to see or accept, but with a little trust and surrender the Universe will deliver.
This year has taught me so much about my mental health.
I took a big, scary step and started therapy. I’ve finally gotten to a place where I’m feeling more comfortable truly talking, out loud and candidly, about my anxiety and little bit of depression. It may be to only about 3 people but that is a whole lot more than before. I’ve learned to actually put the tools I have into action so they can help me through the rough patches. I’ve had weeks on end where I just start crying for no reason, but even then I know that it is just temporary. I know that it’s just this moment, and that it’s not forever. I’ve learned to really tune into myself- that when I don’t feel good to really take a moment and scan through why it may be. Have I exercised lately? What have I been eating? Have I been outside? How much screen time have I had? What things in the future am I fixating on? I’m still working on being able to ask myself these questions and do these corrective things in the moment instead of just as a reactive and reflective technique. The thing is though, that even if it’s only after a rough time that I sit down a dig into these things knowing that I am able to recognize and address them is a huge step.
This year has reminded me over and over again that our life is way too short.
We are not guaranteed tomorrow, so take in every moment. Just do the damn thing, what ever the “damn thing” in your life is. Love hard. Fill your days with things that make you feel so incredibly happy. Take big chances. Fail hard, then try again. Slow down and just appreciate where you are, who you are with. Disconnect. Let yourself live.
This year has taught me that if you look hard enough, even in a global pandemic, some good can be found.
We all were forced to slow down this year. The world shut down just as I was preparing to work 60ish hr weeks for 3 months straight. Instead, I was home. I was able to spend so much quality time with my family. I was able to try things that I had been saving for a rainy day like crafts and trying to learn guitar. So many people took lockdown to start going on daily walks and enjoying the healing power of nature. So many people learned to bake bread. So many people used the time to finally get to work on the idea they had been too busy for. So many people were able to finally take the time to rest and recharge. Everyone became more intentional about reaching out to friends and family that they may not always talk to as much. If you ask me, I like to think that we all found a little bit of community through this year even if that community was shaped through Zoom.
We are in the home stretch of 2020, but I think we all know that so very much can happen in the time that’s left. Here’s to continuing to roll with the punches, trust in the Universe, enjoy the moment and search for all the good while we finish out this chapter.