Let's Chat About Loving Yourself
I grew up a dancer. I put on my first ballet shoes when I was 3 and stepped onto my first competition stage when I was 5. After school and weekends were spent in the studio or on stage and let me tell you I wouldn’t trade that for the world! Dance taught me and provided me with so much more than just movement. Dance provided me with a family that I can always lean towards. I learned to be apart of a team. I learned how to be a gracious loser and humble winner. I learned the power of dedication and commitment.
So, why start off a post titled “Let’s Chat About Loving Yourself” talking about growing up a dancer? Well because as any dancer will tell you, you spend a lot of time in front of a mirror. A mirror is one of the biggest learning tools for dancers when it comes to correcting technique, but I have to say that some times so much time in front of a mirror got in my head. When I was young with a 6 pack it was no problem, but then in came puberty. Oh and I have arthritic knees that didn’t love dance as much as I did. I spent more than my fair share of time on crutches, during which time I gained some weight. My boobs were bigger than most of my friends. I held a little more around my tummy. Sometimes after too long staring at myself in a sports bra in the mirror it kinda sucked.
And you know who’s to blame? Not myself, not the amazing teachers I had, not the other people I danced with, and not even the mirror I stood in front of. The blame falls on the comparison game. I’m sure we’ve all heard it before, comparison is the thief of joy.
If there is one thing I could tell younger me it would be to stop comparing your body, your talents, and your abilities to the person next to you.
And you know what? I have to still tell myself that every day. It is way too easy to look at your friends and compare successes and failures. It’s way too easy to scroll on Instagram and compare your body to that of the professional athletes (I follow a lot of pro surfers) or models you follow. It’s easy to look at people who are working in the field you are trying to break into and compare how your work stands up to theirs.
STOP.
The last year or so I’ve done a lot of looking inward and a lot of self reflection. I have learned the value in being able to acknowledge success in others while knowing that their success doesn’t decrease or define my own.
So again, why all this in a post titled “Let’s Chat About Loving yourself”? Well, the more I’ve stopped comparing myself to others the more love I’ve had for me. Because you know what? I’m a pretty badass lady.
Time to toot my own horn:
I run half way around the world, by myself, just to meet new people and see new places.
I laugh a lot. It’s one of my favorite things to do.
I write, a talent I have only recently started to recognize, practice, and share. I’m proud of the words that I string together and share here on this blog.
I’m passionate. And when I get invested in something that I’m passionate about I obsess over it. I go big.
I have anxiety and I’m learning what brings it on, what helps it, what makes it worse. Though it can feel like a messy process, it has helped me become more aware of myself.
I’ve have a body that is strong, that is powerful, that is hot. My body has carried me around the world and back. My body has hiked volcanos at sunrise, and dove to 15m under the sea. That is so rad!
I've become a "yes" person. I decided to just say, "yes" to experiences because I'd rather have experienced them verses regret not giving an opportunity a chance. Bungee jump even though I'm afraid of heights? Sure. Spending a weekend announcing over a microphone even though I consider myself a shyer person? Sure I'll give it a go. Spend a week doing construction in an area with no running water or electricity? Let's go. If you were to tell high school me that I would do any of this, I would have laughed. I am so glad I have though! I am so glad that I just decided to try, because even if I ended up not loving something, I know that I gave it a fair shot (and gotten a few good stories).
I am such a badass.
I have done, am doing, and will do such beautiful things. Don’t get me wrong, some days I forget that. Some days I feel less empowered and less confident. Confidence in yourself can be a tricky thing to navigate. But that’s life, there is always obstacles.
I’ve learned that a few things:
Remember that dedication and commitment dance taught me? I’m rediscovering that when I use those skills I can get my body to, and keep it in, a place that makes me feel like a BABE. That place for me is going to be different than what it is for you! Wherever that place of body confidence is for you, rock it and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!
It is 100000% okay to make changes. I don’t care if it means making changes in your routine, the environment you occupy, the career path you follow or the people you surround yourself with. It’s okay to decide you want to be something different. There is no rule saying you have to stay one way your whole life. You know what else is okay to change? Your physical self. Want to lose a few pounds? Great go for it! Think you could use to gain a few pounds? Cool, make that change! Never been able to love a picture of yourself because you hate your nose? Get that nose job. I will be the first to tell you, sometimes there are things about yourself that a positive mindset, outlook, or self love can’t fix. I have a big, beaming, genuine smile, but every tooth in that smile is fake. I shed many a tears in the past over the way my teeth looked. They were my BIGGEST insecurity even up until about 2 years ago. But now, me and my fake teeth smile ear to ear. Change is okay. (But also, like I said before don’t compare yourself to others! If you want to change your physical self do it because it’s 100% what you want, not based off of any ounce of outside influence).
Don’t be afraid to share your gifts. It can feel scary and messy at first. After a little time, though, it feels empowering. I feel so good when I hit publish on a blog post. I get excited to share something that I’m passionate about with others. Will everyone like it, or appreciate your gifts? Nope, but they don’t have to. That’s a hard thing to learn and accept, but truly it’s okay if not everyone loves you or thinks you’re amazing or wants to be your bff or support you.
Take the bad with a grain of salt. Bad things happen. Bad emotions happen. Bad days happen. Hell, even bad weeks, months or years happen. Take them easy. It may not feel like it, and it sounds so cheesy, but you really are growing and learning through all of it.
Alright is anyone still reading this? I hope so. Cause I’ve got a little bit left in me. To who ever is still here:
YOU ARE SO BADASS. YOU ARE SO RAD. I hope that you find the beauty and value and hidden talents in yourself and own it all! Don’t hide yourself away. I hope that you learn to love every little different, quirky, jaw dropping thing about yourself. All the good and all the bad. Because that is what makes you, you and that is a beautiful beautiful thing.
Me showing myself some more love, here.
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